MMH and the Hairbrush
by saturday101
Summary: The reason why Batman goes to the Watchtower so early. (In the JL universe, but Dick is still Robin.)
1. Chapter 1

**I own nothing**

Batman and Robin had arrived at the Watchtower at 6:00am, before even Martian Manhunter was awake.

"Ugh! Bruce, why'd we come this early?" Robin complained.

The Dark Knight smirked, "For entertainment of course."

Around 6:30, they neared the bathrooms after eating some food. Suddenly they heard a deep baritone voice.

"_Oh where is my hairbrush? Oh where...is my hairbrush? Oh where, oh where, oh where, oh where, oh where, oh wheeeerrrre, is my hairbrush?" _was sung as J'onn exited the bathroom in a towel. Let me repeat that, _in a towel_.

*Pause to let reader regain composer*

Robin was shocked and slightly embarrassed at the sight, Batman...was Batman, but he did the most unusual thing. (No he didn't start singing, idiots, just read.)

"I think I saw a hairbrush back there," Batty-boy responded.

"_Back there is my hairbrush. Back there is my hairbrush. Back there, back there, oh where, back there, oh where, oh where, back theeeerrrreeee, is my hairbrush!" _sang J'onn happily.

Robin stared at him, first at his head, then to his towel, then quickly back to his head again and asked, "Why do you need a hairbrush, you don't have any hair!"

M.M.H. froze, the thought had never occurred to him, no hair for his hairbrush? What would become of him? What would become of his hairbrush? "_No hair for my hairbrush. No hair for my hairbrush! No hair, No hair, back there, no hair, no haaaaiiiirrrr, for my hairbrush."_

As they walked down the hallway they ran into Superman, who had heard the commotion and came to contribute to the conversation, "J'onn, _that old hairbrush of yours, well, you never use it, you don't really need it so_, I'm sorry, I didn't know, but I gave it to the Flash, 'cuz he's got hair," and with that he walked away.

"_Not fair, for my hairbrush. Not fair, my poor hairbrush. Not fair, not fair, not there, back there, no hair, not faaaiiirrr, my little hairbrush_," lamented Manhunter.

Hearing J'onn's song, Flash enters the scene, himself in a towel, shocked and slightly embarrassed at the sight of...each other, Flash regains his composer and says, "Thanks for the hairbrush," and flashed away to get dressed.

M&M thought for a second, smiled and then sang, "Take care, of my hairbrush. Take care, of my hairbrush. Take care, no hair, back there, oh where, take caaaarrrreeee of my hairbrush!" and walked to his room.

Batman looked at Robin, "That, Dick is why I come early."

"Ohhh," the Boy Wonder said, "so that's what you meant by entertainment. Do they do the same thing every day?"

Bruce Wayne sighed, "No, they do something different every week. Somehow I got stuck with the crazies."

From then until Robin became his own superhero, Dick went with Bruce every week to be entertained.


	2. Chapter 2

**Arisa; Well this was supposed to be an oneshot but…whatever. I do not own the Justice League or veggie tales.**

"_If my lips ever left my mouth, packed a bag and headed south, that'd be too bad, I'd be so sad_," Robin sang.

Superman nodded, "That'd be too bad, you'd be so sad?"

"_That'd be too bad. If my lips said 'Adios, I don't like you, I think you're gross,' that'd be too bad. I' might get mad_," Robin continued.

"That'd be too bad, you might get mad?" Superman returned while writing.

Robin nodded, "_That'd be too bad. If my lips moved to Duluth, left a mess and took my tooth, that'd be too bad, I'd call my dad._"

"That'd be too bad, you'd call your dad?" Superman asked, actually not writing but drawing.

"_That'd be too bad._"

The Man o' Steel froze, "Hold it, did you say your father?" he was answered with a nod, "Fascinating! So what you're saying is that if your lips left you…"

"_That'd be too bad, I'd be so sad, I might get mad, I'd call my dad, that'd be too bad..._"

"That'd be too bad?"

"_That'd be too bad._"

Superman looked up, "Why?"

Robin thought for a moment, "'Cause I love my lips!" then he just kinda…made random sounds while jumping on the couch.

"Oh my, this is more serious than I thought! Robin, what do you see here?" He asked holding a drawing of lips.

"Um, that looks like a lip."

"What about this?"

"It's a lip!"

"And this?"

Superman then showed various pictures, from butterflies to the creator of VeggieTales while Robin sang, "It's a lip, it's a lip, it's a lip, lip, lip! It's a lip, it's a lip, it's a lip, lip, lip. It's a lip, it's a lip, it's a lip, lip, lip, LIIIIPPPPSSSS, lip, lip, lip!" Superman was unamused.

He sighed, "Robin, tell me about your childhood."

Robin flopped back on the couch, "_When I was just two years old I left my lips out in the cold, and they turned blue, what could I do?_"

Superman continued drawing, "Oh dear, they turned blue what could you do?"

"_Oh they turned blue. On the day I got my tooth, had to kiss my Great Aunt Ruth, she had a beard, and it felt weird_," Robin continued.

"My my, she had a beard and it felt weird?"

Robin nodded, "_She had a beard_."

"Oh!"

"_Ten weeks after I turned eight, got my lips stuck in a gate! My friends all laughed,_ and I just stood there until the fire department came and broke the lock with a crowbar and then I had to spent the next six weeks in lip rehab with a kid named Oscar who was stung by a bee right on the lip and we couldn't even talk to each other until the fifth week 'cause our lips were so swollen and when he did start speaking he only spoke polish and I only knew like three words in polish only now I know four 'cause Oscar taught me the word for lip, usta!" Robin continued while Superman scribbled so fast, steam came off the pencil.

"Your friends all laughed…usta," he was answered with a nod, "How do you spell that?"

"I dunno."

Superman continued, "So your childhood…"

"_They turned blue, what could I do? She had a beard and it felt weird. My friends all laughed…_usta!" Robin sang, again.

"…I'm confused."

Robin smiled, "I love my lips!" then he started making random noises again while he jumped around while Superman tried to get his attention, then he asked, "Have I ever told you how I feel about my nose?"

"Oh, look at the time," and then Superman fled.

"Did you get it?" Batman asked as he walked in.

Robin smirked, "Yep!" he responded while walking over to a wall, pressing a button and removing the video tapes from all the walls and the ceiling. "Can I post it on YouTube?"

"Sure," Batman smiled and ruffled Robin's hair, "C'mon let's go upload it."

The next day the Flash showed Superman the video while Batman was in Gotham hiding from his wrath.


	3. Chapter 3

**Arisa; Oh my gosh! I'm not dead! Hallelujah! Oh, and I don't own the Justice League or VeggieTales.**

"You have got to be kidding me."

"Just do it, you're Spanish so you should be able to speak the language!"

"Dude, I'm Romanian! Just because I come from that continent-"

"Yeah, yeah whatever, do this for me and I'll make it up to you, please?"

"Ugh, fine."

The Justice League members are sitting in chairs in front of a small stage with a curtain. Aqualad stepped out from behind it. "Robin will be performing the traditional Argentinean ballad, 'The Dance of the Cucumber,' in its original Spanish. Flash will translate."

The curtain opened, revealing Robin in a giant sombrero and poncho. He sighed and sang, "Miren al pepino…" while "dancing" around in circles around Wally.

"Watch the cucumber…" translated the Flash.

"…miren como se mueve," the Boy Wonder glared at said ginger.

Wally ignored this and continued, "…see how he moves."

"Como un leon…" Dick was _this_ close to punching his so-called "friend."

"Like a lion…" continued the speedster moving a couple of inches away from the singer.

"…tras un raton." Robin rolled his eyes behind his mask, '_A mouse, really? How cliché."_

"…chasing a mouse." the ginger was having similar thoughts.

The Boy Blunder suddenly got an idea, "Miren al pepino…"

"Watch the cucumber," Wally translated.

"…sus suaves movimientos…"

"…Oh, how smooth his motion…"

"…tal como mantequilla…"

"…like butter…" the Flash hesitated, '_Wait, what?'_

"…en un chango pelon," Dick smirked.

"…on a ... bald monkey," Wally's face elicited a few chuckles from the audience.

"Miren al pepino…" continued the circus kid.

Wally sighed, "Look at the cucumber"

"…los vegetales…"

"…all the vegetables…" translated the ginger

"…envidian a su amigo…" continued the trapeze artist.

"…envy their friend." Wally snorted, '_Envy? Yeah right!'_

"...como el quieren bialar."

"…wishing to dance as he."

"Pepino bailarin, pepino bailarin, pepino bailarin"

"Dancing cucumber, dancing cucumber, dancing cucumber"

"Baila, baila, ya!" Dick snickered at the lyrics.

"Dance, dance, yeah!" The ginger's face, it is funny.

"Miren al jengibre…"

"Look at the ginger," Wally stopped paying attention to the translations.

"…no es triste?" Robin looked over the speedster's shoulder to the audience.

The ginger continued translating mindlessly, "Isn't it sad?"

"El no puede bailar," the Boy Wonder smothered a cack-er, giggle.

The speedster yawned, "He can't dance."

"!Pobre jengibre!"

"Poor ginger!" continued Wally.

Robin smirked, "El deberia poder bailar…"

"He wishes he could dance," Wally wondered what the audience was laughing at.

The traffic light ninja giggled, "…como el pepino…"

"…like the cucumber…"

Dick was…floating? …Yeah, floating, like the Cheshire Cat over the Flash,"…libre y suavemente."

Wally yawned again,"…free and smooth."

"Pero el no puede danzar."

"But he can't..." Suddenly Wally realized what he was translating, "Okay! Stop the music! What do ya mean I can't dance? I can dance! What about Uncle Barry's polka party? Didn't you see me dancing at Uncle Barry's polka party?"

"No comprendo."

The speedster's face became as red as his hair, "No comprendo? I'll show you 'No comprendo'!"

Suddenly Tim Drake spotted the duo, "Mom! Dad! Look over here! Get a picture of me next to the cucumber in authentic Argentinean garb!"

Mr. Drake walked over, "Okay, Timmy, but we'd better hurry-I think the dwarves have your mother confused with someone else! Say 'Peas!'"

"Peas!" chorused the three.

"Escuchen el pepino..." sang Robin.

"Listen to the cucumber..." continued the Flash

Robin grinned, "...oigan su voz fuerte..."

"...hear his strong voice..." Wally tried to Gibb-slap his sombrero wearing friend, but failed.

"...como un leon..." our friendly neighborhood ninja fake roared.

Flash stared at him, "...like a lion..."

"...listo a devorar."

"...about to eat." Silently Wally wondered what his girlfriend was making him for dinner.

"Escuchen al pepino," Robin sang sweetly.

"Listen to the cucumber..."

"...que dulce as su canto..."

"...oh how sweet his voice..."

The Boy Blunder snickered at the irony before continuing, "...la voz de su garganta perece un triar."

"...the breath from his throat is like a chorus of little birdies." Wally made a face, '_What kind of verse is that?'_

"Escuchen al pepino…" Robin spun around his buddy.

Said buddy stared at him,"Um...listen to the cucumber…"

"…los vegetales," Robin got another idea…oh joy.

Wally was getting really bored with this song, "…all the vegetables."

"…envidian a su amigo," Robin wondered how he even knew this song.

"…envy their friend..." Wow, this song takes commitment…eh? Oh, right.

Robin continued, "…como el quieren cantar."

"…wishing to sing as he."

"Pepino cantador, pepino cantador, pepino cantador..." Watching at the crowd laugh reminded Dick of his circus days.

"Singing cucumber, singing cucumber, singing cucumber," Bored ginger, bored ginger, bored ginger…

"…canta, canta, ya!"

"…sing, sing, yeah!" the ginger rolled his eyes at the continued lyrics.

"Escuchen al jengibre, " sang Dick looking over the Flash's shoulder.

"Listen to the ginger," Wally sighed, '_Here we go again…_'

"?No es triste?" continued Robin looking over Wally's other shoulder.

"Isn't it sad?"

"El no puede cantar."

"He can't sing," the speedster looked confused, he could sing (in his mind)!

"Pobre jengibre."

"Poor ginger."

"El deberia poder cantar" Robin sang, continuing to dance.

Flash continued to translate, "He wishes he could sing"

"…fuerte y ducle como el pepino," Robin continued.

"…strong and sweet like the cucumber," Wally was getting really annoyed.

"Pero no puede..." sang Dick.

Wallace rolled his eyes, "But he can't ..."

"!Ni siquiera da un silbido!" taunted the Boy Blunder.

A vein pulsed on Wally's head, "Can't even ... whistle! All right! That's it Senor! Come over here and let me sing YOU a song!"

Robin's eyes widened, "Adios, amigos!"

Aqualad smothered his laugher and narrated, "This has been Silly Songs With Robin. Tune in next time to hear Robin sing ..."

"Wally's really angry! I hope he doesn't catch me! It's so hard to run with this sombrero on my head!" sang Robin as he ran from the Flash.

**Arisa; Yeah, I ad-libbed a bit. Anyway, the reviews!**

**JasonTKD; Ya got that right, poor Bruce.**

**Momorulz; ^-^ **

**Amazing Bluie; Silly Songs with Batman huh? I'll have to remember that on. *facepalms* How in the world of Alfred's cookies did I not think of that? And you're right, knowing him, he probably does.**

**MEEPheheCandy; thanks! :)**

**P (); Careful, don't die! ;)**

**TOTALWACKJOB-1; thank you!**

**Kakashi3000 (or is it Wingnut 2.0?); thanks! oh, and your profile pic? epic.**

**Shadows of Flame; thank you!**

**Oh wow, you guys are way too nice to me, maybe I should procrastinate more often...I'm kidding. Anyway, thanks to (at least) Element7 and Shykeiro for alerting or faveing, that last one might not be a word. **

**Now this is important; should I continue this? I'm not a regular updater so you would have to deal with sporadic updates _and_ I read something in the guidelines that you're not supposed to use song lyrics unless it's open to the public domain...so please tell me yes or no...if no then I'll just mark it as complete and give you an omake (extra) or something. Thanks for reading!**

**Arisa out.**


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